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Oh Mummy!! It Really Hurts

Hi I’m Tania. I’m 7 years old and I’m student of 3rd standard. I always achieve good grades in my school and for that my teacher and my family always appreciate me. My friends are also fascinated towards me because of my cheerful stance.

Every student of my class wants to be my friend. My teachers always introduce me to new classmates, telling them that I’m the best person to be a friend with. That makes me feel proud of myself.

My dad is an architect and my mom is a house wife. I don’t have sibling but my mom and dad have never made me feel lonely.

My mom is really fond of shopping and my aunt is her best chum. Since I’m too young, they leave me at my aunt’s place whenever they want to go out. I stay there with my uncle, whom I like a lot.

My aunt and uncle do not have children; they consider me as their own child. My uncle has always been nice to me. He gets me chocolates, ice cream and what not.

Whenever I stay at his place, he gets me some gifts. I usually take my books with me so that I can complete my home work while I’m there.

Once, in the evening my mom has planned to go to the tailor with my aunt and I was supposed to stay at my aunt’s place with my uncle. The day was not so special yet I can feel the difference.

That day, my uncle got me so many chocolates. I was lying on sofa and was studying for my exam which was on the next day. My uncle was also lying on bed and was watching TV.

After a while when my mom and aunt left, my uncle called me. I being naive and innocent went and laid down along with him on the bed. He gave me a chocolate and I ate it there and there. Then I started reading my book but he was not into TV. There was something else going on in his mind.

Suddenly I could feel his touch on my legs. Well he has been hugging and kissing me before but this time it was so different. I was stunned and was unaware how to react.

Things were getting wrong. I did not like it. I was quiet. His smile was scary. I could not say anything. It was hurting me and I was shouting like anything. He was not leaving me. I was saying “UNCLE IT’S HURTING! PLEASE LEAVE ME” but he didn’t. I was waiting for the door knock but…. Nobody came.

I was crying and was scared. He threatened me that if I’ll tell that to anyone then he will kill my mom and dad.

After an hour the door knocked, he warned me not to tell anyone and he went to open the door. It was my mom and aunt. I was helpless so I didn’t tell anything to them.

I was quiet. I and my mom got back to home. Things were normal for them but I lost the charm of my life. I remained quiet for rest of my life. I became the most boring girl. I lost my confident. I lost my strength. I used to see the nightmares of that evening but….I don’t want to lose my parents. I felt helpless and powerless.

Taking into account the above story, many children of our nation are trapped into the silence of sexual abuse.

SAHIL, an NGO against sexual abuse of children, has its published annual report titled ‘Cruel Numbers 2008’ which has recorded 1,838 total incidents of sexual abuse of children in the Pakistan.

Imagine how commonly this nuisance has surrounded our children. Parents, being unaware are only protecting their children against strangers but who will protect our children from the abusers of our home?

The SAHIL report further says that 3,968 people were involved in sexual abuse of children in which 71 were close relatives of the victim.

Child sexual abuse involves a breach of trust or an exploitation of vulnerability, and frequently both. More than half of the people who abuses the children are known to them. Usually the adult abuser takes advantage of the child’s innocence, trust or affection.

Children feel betrayed because they are dependent upon adults for nurturing and protection and the offender is someone who they should be able to love and trust. They may also feel betrayed by a non-offending parent who they feel has failed to protect them.

These children become usually secretive because the abuser threatens or bribes the child to keep silent. As the result of threats, fear and embarrassment, most children do not tell anyone about the abuse. Therefore, keeping the secret of abuse only causes more emotional stress for the child and the family.

Sexually abused children not only face an assault on their developing sense of sexual identity, but a blow to their construction of the world as a safe enough environment and developing sense of others as trustworthy.

This is the right time for us to protect our children from this undesired future. Start teaching children about the cues of sexual abuse. Teach them the difference between a good and a bad touch. Be it a boy or a girl, it shouldn’t hurt to be a child.
 

By Afshan Ameen
Karachi