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CHILD WITNESSING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

By Sharil Lalani

A child’s heart shatters when he sees with the corner of his eyes his parents fighting with each other. The recurring spells of physical bashing and verbal abuse leaves dire impact on the mind of a child. He feels so helpless and feeble to talk to any one. Also he is unable to share any thing with his friends as this might bring a disgrace to him. This negative repercussion captures a child’s mind and persists till adulthood. The constant fear child lives with becomes a threat to his overall development. The need to address this topic is that, to date, most of the literature talks about effects of domestic violence on its primary victim, whereas the effects partner abuse might leave on its secondary victim that is the child who witness this violence is still scanty. Besides, parents play an important role in shaping a child’s psychology in their early years. However abusive parents disregard this important parental role, in turn harming the basic needs of the child. Moreover the optimal level of child health can be achieved by providing them with the fostering and interacting environment at home. This paper aims to further increase an understanding on mental health of a child, who witness violence between his parents across the developmental stages and role of health care providers in this regard.

Domestic violence and child abuse are not a new social problem. Both are considered as an accepted part of our culture, regardless of the socio-economic status of the people. Almost over 3 million children are at risk of exposure to parental violence each year (Carlson, 1984). According to the statistics given by Ms Kamila Hayat, editor of the Human Rights Annual Report, published and compiled by the HRCP, around 80 per cent of cases of domestic violence occur each year in Pakistan. These include not just instances of physical violence but verbal abuses as well. These figures might not be completely accurate, but they do give a fair picture of the existing situation in the country. This high figure clearly suggests that there is a great chance of child’s exposure to parental abuse in our country. As the incidence of domestic violence grows in our society, so does the need for investigating the cognitive, emotional and behavioral consequences produced by exposure to domestic violence, especially in children.
Early years in child’s life are extremely important for his growth and development throughout the life span. The relationship between young children and those who are closest to them have an especially potent influence on their early development. But a child who is nurtured in violent home has significant risk of exhibiting poor outcomes across the subsequent chain of development.

Infants and toddlers are totally dependent on their caretakers to meet their needs. However, infants who are brought up by the abusive parent possess a significant risk of developing detachment from their parents. Stiles (2002) identified that 50 percent of these infants cry excessively and have eating and sleeping problems. Infants are also at a significantly increased risk for physical injury. They may also show excessive irritability, fearfulness, and regressed behavior. Different models of psychosocial development show that the early years of child are the most precious. Using an Ericsonian model, Elbow (1982) claimed that the with the exposure to violence child’s sense of industry is undermined and his achievement of autonomy is compromised. She hypothesizes that these children develop feelings of inadequacy and guilt and that their sense of basic trust is impaired.

Preschool age is the age when we prepare child for his schooling and formal education. Moreover child learns different skills and socialization. Parents play a key role in preparing child for his future. However this preparatory stage is profoundly affected, when a child witnesses conflict between his parents. During the preschool years, children turn to their parents for protection and stability, but these needs are often disrupted and unmet in families with partner abuse. Increased anxiety around strangers and behaviors such as whining, crying, and clinging may occur in child of this age group. Moreover, they are greater risk for exhibiting more tantrums than the child of non abusive parents. They may also exhibit poor verbal and social skills. Furthermore, frequent fighting at school or between siblings, lashing out at objects, treating pets cruelly or abusively, threatening peers or siblings with violence (e.g., "give me a pen or I will smack you"), and attempts to gain attention through hitting, kicking, or choking peers and/or family members is also not uncommon in this age group.

The seeds of conflict and intolerance are sown early. School age is the right time to inculcate seed of respect and tolerance. Conversely, child who suffers from intimate partner violence show a great consequences of internalizing symptom such as withdrawal and anxiety, and externalizing problems such as aggressiveness and delinquency (Martin, 2002). Children of this age interpret most events in relation to self. They blame themselves for whatever event happens between their parents. They may also try and intervene in the event, which can cause them physical or verbal harm. Hughes (1986) found that children of this age often have difficulties with school work, including poor academic performance, not wanting to go to school, and difficulties in concentration. Similarly, McKay (1987, cited in Jaffe et al. 1990) described such children as constantly fighting with peers, rebelling against adult instruction and authority, and being unwilling to do school work.

By the time child reach adolescence, he has got an enough cognitive abilities to decide which situation is acceptable and which is not. He becomes aware of the fact that there are different ways of feeling, thinking and acting out in the world than what they have been exposed before. Therefore he may also try to attempt and rescue the abused parent. Researches show that 48% adolescence who witness their parental violence suffer from depression. Besides all of them are at high risk for, sexual acting out, running away from home and suicide. Moreover boys may turn to drugs and girls may totally refuse to get married. Not only this, these adolescents might also try to make other intimate relationship in order to seek love and attention from others. Also, observing aggression and violence between parents is more strongly related to future involvement in severe marital violence than was being the victim of abuse.

In a country like Pakistan, children are not usually encouraged to speak on this issue. The culture of silence and stigma that domestic violence might bring with it, force a child to remain quite and let things be the way they are. Because there is no way a child can ventilate his feeling, there is a great chance of him ending up having diverse psychological problems.

The role of health care providers is of vital importance in addressing this issue. They can help in early identification of child witnessing domestic violence by working collaboratively with the early child educators, school nurses and community centers. Identification is the first step in breaking cycle of violence. However confidentiality should be maintained. Besides they may serve as consultants in school to talk about issues such as conflict resolution and anger management. Lastly, it is important to empower non-abusive parent create safe, stable and nurturing environment that can help child recover from the effects of violence.

In conclusion I would like to say that children are the treasure of our nation. Investing in their developing years, promises better social, emotional and cognitive outcomes. Parents have a crucial role to be fulfilled in this regard. The love and affection that child receive from parents can turn them into a better human being. They are responsible for making or breaking their child’s future. It is therefore important to provide child with the environment, in which he gets better chances of developing into wonderful human being. As Ackerman and Pickering (1989) rightly said that Families under stress produce children under stress. If a spouse is being abused and there are children in the home, the children are affected by the abuse.