www.chitraltimes.com

Parenting styles make child’s character.

By: Mumtaz Ameen

The parenting is the single largest aspect implicated in every aspect of person’s life from womb till dome. What the person is today is nothing, but the way he/she is being raised up. As a good farmer prepares the soil in order to produce a good crop, good parents use different parenting styles so that they produce a good crop of children, who would grow up to become accountable and self-governing individuals. Parenthood is actually a career with the job description of commitment and responsibility. The role of parents is very important in the development of the children, but unfortunately, parents are not always aware of the crucial role they play. The Parenting usually involves biological parents but is not limited to them. Teachers, Nurses, and others can fulfill parenting tasks too. The role of parent change across the time with child’s development, therefore it is very necessary to understand the types of parenting.

There are four types of parenting which usually parents adopt in their lives and each has significant impact on child’s nature. First is the Authoritarian style that is characterized by high levels of control in that parents try to control their children according to their own rules and low levels of responsiveness in that they don’t response much to their children. Child has minimum opportunity and liberty to express his /her feelings. In this style parents expectation from their children is very high. On the contrary they don’t assist their children. These parents place high values on obedience to rules, discourage friendly relationship between parents and children, and usually do not take their child's needs and demands into consideration. It has been observed that children raised from using this style tend to be less cheerful, moody, passive to aggressive, and venerable to stress. Because of this stress they became dependent and underachievers so their self esteem also go down.

Next is the Permissive Parenting style that is characterized by low levels of control in that parents give full permission to do what they want to do and high levels of responsiveness they respond to every wish of their children. In this style child’s freedom of expression and autonomy is valued. These parents want their child to be free and give all control to them. Permissive parents are responsive but not demanding. These parents are tolerant of the child's impulses. They also make few demands on the child for mature behavior, do not use much punishment, and avoid imposing their authority. It has been found that children of permissive parents are generally cheerful; they exhibit low level of self-reliance and self-control. Lack of self-reliance means children became more dependent on others and less productive.

Third style is on uninvolved parents. In this style parents are not interested in child’s activity. They are not demanding parents as they are busy in their own jobs. Children of this style are very independent but there is a high risk of getting involved in bad habits.

Final is the Authoritative parenting style that is characterized by high levels of control in that they try to control their children with rules but in the same time they show high level of responsiveness. This style of parenting mostly relies on positive reinforcement, less use of punishment and parents identify child’s strengths and weaknesses. Authoritative parents are actively involved in their children's lives. They are always there to help and guide, because it provides an opportunity to build good relationship with their children and it builds a strong bridge of trust. Authoritative parents apply certain strategies like active listening, positive encouragement, and disciplinary techniques that facilitate the development of self-control.

In conclusion, there are four styles of parenting which play a significant part in the prevention of child developmental deficits and at-risk behaviors that may place children at disadvantage in future. Many researchers showed that there is a strong correlation between parenting styles and children’s future performance in life. Parents are children’s first and most influential teachers. Parenting style is like a paintbrush through which parent made the pictures of their child’s life. Let’s take an example of the boiling water that hardens the egg in one side, whereas, it will soften the carrot. So it is with parents and it is up to them how they want to choose their particular parenting styles. Adapting good parenting styles is very important because, now days, children are affecting by media too. So let’s take strong steps and find ways to parents and empower them to nurture their children in an excellent manner.