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Child Adoption: is it traumatizing or Cheerful?

By Rahila Popatia

Adoption is lifelong, intergenerational process and magnificent phenomena for couples as well as for children. As through this process both child and couple gets protection and solution for their problems Adoption seems so simple but it causes distress in the adoptee’s life. As said by Silverstein & Kaplan (2004). “Adoption is created through loss; without loss there would be no adoption”. It can bring happiness and fill the space in the life of adopted family, but it takes away the biological parent’s pride therefore, it is stressful event for life of adoptee. However, it may guarantee stable future for the adoptee but at the cost of forgetting past.

There are two types of adoption formal and informal. Unfortunately so far there are no Governmental agencies working for adoption process in Pakistan instead Non- Governmental Organizations (NGOs) like Hope, Zehra, Edhi Centre etc have filled the emptiness. By Achakzai. (2008) “Edhi Home receives one or two infants a month and around 15 to 20 a year on the average, with around 70 per cent of them baby girls”. The scope of this paper is to highlight the emotional effects of adoption on adoptee’s life and enabling the couples who adopted the child to understand and cater the special needs of adoptee. It is therefore, essential to understand the causes of adoption, emotional problems and learning disabilities of adopted child.

First and foremost aspect that should be kept in mind is why people adopt the children. There are several reasons of adopting a child. One of them is infertility. When one of the partners has some physical or genetic problem which restricts pregnancy and one cannot become a biological parent. The couples decide to adopt child. The second cause is to offer shelter to a homeless child and on the other hand provide a companionship to their only child who is not socialized. The third reason of child adoption is that couple wants to replace the child who is died and it helps them to overcome their grief.

The next core element that should not be neglected regarding child adoption is emotional problems of adoptee. The trauma of loss begins when the fetus is in utero and is in developing process. Experience of the actual loss begins from the moment when an adoptee is been separated from his/her birth mother. According to Bryan (2006) Scientific research now reveals that as early as the second trimester, the human fetus is capable of auditory processing and in fact, is capable of processing rejection in utero. In addition to the rejection and abandonment felt by the newborn adoptee or any age adoptee for that matter, it must be recognized that the far greater trauma often times occurs in the way in which the mind and body system of the newborn is incapable of processing the loss of the biological figure.

Trauma of separation from the biological family increases the threshold of stress and sensitivity in the adoptee as compare to a child living with their biological parents. When these children grow up they undergo identity crisis. They are often differentiated or been pointed out by the family member or friends that you do not resemble your parents or they are not your really parents you have been adopted by them. This differentiation makes them curious about their identity and birth parents. Often they ask questions, who their birth parents are? Why their parents gave them for adoption? Were they born because of their parent’s mistake? The child feared rejection from the adopted parents and can not shade the trauma of been separated from the parents again. They fail to build bond and attachment towards their adopted parents. Human relationship is formed on the bases of love and affection and is one of the basic needs. When these needs are not met the person undergoes process of grief. If the relationship is close and secure the child learns to love and trust.

Finally learning disorders are also common in adopted children. It is often seen that adopted children face difficulty in paying attention during class room activities. They easily get distracted by other events occurring at the same time. They find difficult to complete the given task and memorizing the learned concepts. According to Stuart (2008) “The Barker Foundation, the nation’s first cooperative adoption agency, conducted a 1996 survey with the parents of 500 adopted children. Thirty percent of these children had some type of learning or attention problem.” The symptoms of hyperactivity are obvious in these children which includes squirming around the seat when seated, difficulty in playing quietly, talk excessively and some times they tend to get angry easily and snatch things from other kids.

To conclude adoption is a cheerful event and a social process by which children are brought together with adults who are not their biological parents to form a family. It is important for one who adopts the child to be aware of the emotional and special needs of the adoptee no matter what the reason of adoption is. To make adoption less traumatizing event for adoptee, healthcare professionals can play key role by educating couples who are in search of child regarding the needs and concerns of adoptee. By helping couple to understand, that the child needs their extra attention and love.